Songs that wake you up from no matter what state you are in is a beautiful thing. Sometimes I get in these music funks. For a while I refused to turn the dial on my radio, listening to non-stop classical music, which my boyfriend thought was crazy. I don't know what it was, something about the peaceful music took my mind off all the things I couldn't figure out in life. It was almost like when the classical music was playing, the quartet of strings and the grand mastery of the piano, I knew things would be better. The music had survived centuries, and told stories of ancient's past. And here I was, worried about what to make for dinner.
But this morning in particular, I've had a realization. I've been playing the Bright Eyes Cassadaga album over and over again in my car. One reason I suppose. I was talking to a friend about this Bright Eyes album, this story is actually killing me because I can replay it in my mind a hundred times, the tone of her voice, my reaction, but I cannot remember who I was talking to. Ha. Well anyway, this person said their favorite song on this album was number 1, Clairaudients (Kill or Be Killed) and I almost choked on my laughter. On the whole cd, that was my least favorite. I kept thinking how in the world can this person like this song. There is nothing to it. So in order to understand my dear unknown friend, I have been playing this cd on repeat for about a week now. And finally, it hit me, I got the truth out of the album.
I have changed my favorite songs. When I first got the cd, there was no doubt that ones stood out. And those had become my favorite. But I've been letting the odd numbers play, not absentmindedly reaching for the next button, the music has filled my heart. New songs I hadn't even thought twice about. But it's amazing how only one song still wakes my soul. Like this morning, I was in a bad mood driving around. Dreading what I was going to write about today, because I didn't want to pass along my dreary appetite for gloom, and of course, the album was playing. And as a song had been played and had only :34 seconds left, it grabbed me and pulled me back up. My head started nodding, my hands started beating the steering wheel and I was smiling, singing along to the end of the song. That really is a beautiful thing, something I keep close to my heart. A song that makes me happy no matter how I feel. I won't give away my song, as maybe you too should pick up the album and play it non-stop and get in those moods and figure out which songs save you too.
"Everything it must belong somewhere, they locked the Devil in the basement, threw God up into the air, everything it must belong somewhere..."
- my friend, my savior, Bright Eyes
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